Archive for the ‘Writing’ Category

by Bill Ruesch

In many posts, I have been very vocal about the Internet Wolves and Knaves that lay in wait to snare self-publishers. I’ve witnessed what happens to authors hoodwinked into spending their savings with little or no results to show for it. I’ll continue to rant about those dirty rats. You can count on it. I’ve even advised self-publishers to visit Victoria Strauss’s Writer Beware web site because she is doing a reasonably credible job warning us about traps and dangers.

Who has bigger dreams and expectations for your book manuscript than you?

No one. What attracts those who prey on self-publishers, especially new ones, is the rookie author’s general lack of knowledge of the process and their wide-eyed belief in the value of their manuscripts. Getting a book published is a lifetime dream for most. When someone says you can have your dream come true for just (whatever the dollar figure is) you may feel you just won the lottery.

Knowing what to avoid is a good thing, but it doesn’t go far enough. Authors need to know where to find legitimate, competent, and cost effective assistance. I don’t care how brilliant you are, a first-time self-publisher isn’t likely to successfully negotiate the complexities and produce a commercially credible book on their own. Professional help is required.  After all, you wouldn’t set out on a safari through the darkest jungles without guides, would you?

BookWise & Company, BookWise Publishing, and WriteWise Mentoring

Recently I attended a self-publishing boot camp, known as a Book Camp, organized by BookWise Publishing. This isn’t the old BookWise & Company, founded by bestselling authors Richard Paul Evans and Robert G. Allen. BookWise & Company was a multi-level marketing enterprise.

It seemed like a great idea at the time.

The idea was to give 100 new authors the opportunity to learn how to publish or get their books published with the aid of two New York Times bestselling authors as mentors. For a reasonable flat fee, newbies could submit their manuscripts and have them edited by peers of published authors, designed by experienced and talented designers, printed by excellent presses, and marketed by the authors themselves, with hands-on coaching from Richard Paul Evans, Robert G. Allen and other experienced pros. What would it be worth to a green, untested author to be given the attention of people like these instead of just being dumped on some clerk’s desk, in a forest of cubicles, inside a cavernous room, deep in the basement of some publisher’s impenetrable fortress?

The thought was that if a book received very professional treatment from the outset it would garner greater attention should the author wish to go the traditional route, or give them an edge should they decide to self-publish.

No one can guarantee a book’s success. Some felt that their books deserved to be bestsellers because they paid for mentoring. It doesn’t work that way.

Victoria Strauss of Writer Beware panned the old BookWise & Company.

She had a point—when she was talking about the multi-level part of the company. BookWise Publishing is not BookWise & Company. BookWise Publishing owned and operated by Karen K. Christoffersen and Meagan Bunten is carrying on helping the authors and assisting their progress. Currently they have over 200 authors in the pipeline and have completed over 65 books over the last two years.

Despite Ms. Strauss’s good intentions…

the problem with the Internet is like the old story of the woman with a gossiping habit. As a lesson, her minister emptied a feather pillow into the wind. Her impossible task was to retrieve all the feathers. Once something hits the net it spreads like feathers in a breeze, probably further and even more impossible to call back. BookWise Publishing doesn’t deserve the stigma. It is not a multi-level enterprise.  It is a company with the same name but different owners and management.  Karen Christoffersen asked a brilliant young woman, Meagen Bunten, to be her partner in  the new BookWise. They have no relation to the old MLM and are building BookWise Publishing as an independent collaboration of top people in the publishing business who are dedicated to assisting authors with everything they need to effectively produce and market their books. Costs are contained and kept reasonable by the fact that all services are virtual. There is NO overhead and every associate is self-employed.

Experience matters.

The difference between what BookWise is doing and what hundreds, if not thousands of others are doing, is that they have collected many experienced associates with real life publishing skills. They didn’t  hire the brand-new-just-graduated-learn-on-the-job-beginners and let them loose on unknowing customers. They have real-honest-to-goodness experienced experts.

Am I prejudiced in my assessment? You bet.

I came across BookWise Publishing a couple of years ago, sort of. I had written a novel and even though with my print background I can produce a printed book in my sleep, I didn’t have the foggiest idea of how to sell it. I called Karen—and this is where the sort of comes in—because I knew that she had done a lot of marketing work for Richard Paul Evans and his books over the years, I figured that she could help me if I asked nicely. That’s when I learned about BookWise, the old BookWise. Karen was doing a lot of work preparing the books to go to print. She was burning the candle at three ends.

One thing she could sweep off her plate was the print production. Well hey, there I was, an expert print manager walking right through her door. Since that day I have helped her with the printing side, and she’s been helping me with my writing. I tell you this because I have a special interest in BookWise. BookWise sends me business and they like me so much that my bio appears on their website as the printing expert. I don’t mind. I am an expert and I do consult with them on their printing needs, but I am not an employee nor owner of the company.

The question you should be asking right now is, “Is Bill Ruesch’s opinion of BookWise tainted?” The answer is yes, but that doesn’t make it wrong.  I encourage any self-publishing authors reading this to contact BookWise Publishing, compare their expertise, check their prices, and be prepared to be very impressed. They will be happy to give you the names and contact info of some of their authors so you can hear their testimonials. These are real people and they won’t pull any punches. This is a relatively small, intimate group of new authors who love to get together 2 or 3 times a year at Book Camps in Salt Lake City (and once a year at Book Expo America) to rub shoulders with each other and perfect their craft.

Don’t believe everything you read on the Internet.

BookWise Publishing isn’t just another me-too author’s production resource group. It has the talent, connections, and brains to become a real force in the traditional and independent publishing worlds for years to come. Watch them and see for yourselves.

By Bill Ruesch

No Sales = No Royalties

Spending too much or even too little on your book production can harm you as a self-publisher in ways your may not ever know. You may have the greatest story or the best information on the planet, but if the book buyer isn’t attracted enough to your book to at least pick it up and review the cover and some of the pages, you won’t get a sale.

And why should you as the author be as crass as to dirty your hands with such a mundane thing as book sales? There is a sales to royalty equation that goes like this no sales = no royalties. It would be nice if we could earn money on our writing without having to convince a reader to give it to us, but we can’t. Book sales and book marketing isn’t just a silly inconvenience, it is the truly the engine of publishing.

Critical Questions for the Self-Publishing Author

• What form should your book take to maximize marketability and sales?
  • Do my prospective readers want a hardcover book?
  • Will a soft-cover book appeal more to the readers?
  • Are the readers looking for a bargain or a keepsake?

Presentation Makes All of the Difference

Example of Celestial Seasoning's art

I learned this lesson myself some twenty years ago. At the time, I was working for a natural health magazine in the advertising sales department. One of my favorite advertisers was Celestial Seasonings herbal teas. Their marketing was second to none. Every time they introduced a new product, they hired top-notch illustrators to create the image used on the boxes and ads. They were beautiful. It wasn’t uncommon to have two to three Celestial Seasonings full-page ads in every issue and I can tell you they really dressed up the magazine.

Then as a foil to Celestial Seasonings, was a 1/6 page, black and white, ad for a book which I won’t name for obvious reasons. Their advertisement was ugly to the point of hideousness. It was poorly designed and the photo looked like someone kicked around before inserting it. We tried to bury the ad in places where it wouldn’t wreck our precious image.

We had in place a system to help track advertising results. Celestial Seasonings, of course, always pulled a good response, but at the end of the day, the ugly little black and white book ad would pull equally well, and often more, than Celestial Seasonings. Why? We came up with a lot of theories, but the one that sticks with me after all these years is that book advertisers were consistent with their target buyers. Celestial Seasonings appealed more to the artistic, upscale, yuppie audience. The ugly book ad looked cheap, and offered their product at a discount. It was consistent. The look of the ad matched the purpose. How many books would be sold if they went in with beautiful, full-page ads? I think that their cost would be much greater and their sales would have been less because the message wouldn’t match the purpose.

Make Sure the Message is Consistent with the Marketing

Authors, think about the main purpose of your book, and how you intend to market it. If you can get a clear picture in your mind, many of the questions will answer themselves.

by Bill Ruesch

There are lures aplenty to snag the unwise and unaware.

• AMAZING SECRET REVEALED…

• Will NEVER Again Be Repeated

• Newly Discovered Method…

• Only available to a select few…

• FREE!!!

• Cannot Fail [or] Fail Proof

Courtesy of PhotoBucket

The above are just some of the teasers cast out to hook an Internet fish. To the unscrupulous we are all fish. Self-Publishers, unfortunately, can be easily baited because many discover themselves in strange and unfamiliar waters. It is one thing to write a book and quite another to publish, print, and sell it.

No one wants to make a mistake or be a failure, so we are attracted by the many shiny lures dangled in front of our eyes. They promise that with their help all of our doubts and fears will just float away. They, and they alone, have the power to do this because of some magic formula, or secret knowledge they possess. For a reasonable fee ranging from a few dollars, (to get you on their list, so they can up-sell you later), to thousands of dollars, the way to the peaceful feeding grounds will be revealed.

Gold or Fools Gold?

Just like “tells” that poker players talk about, there are tells a self-publisher need to respect to avoid being skewered. You see, self-publishing is a huge and growing market. Some estimate that self-published titles are already three times greater than traditionally published works. It is a modern gold-rush. Like the California Gold Rush of the last century, all kinds of people, with all kinds of backgrounds are attracted to the glitter. You are the gold, and the greedy, slimy, and inexperienced are there waiting to take your money. They are well-equipped to make fool’s gold appear to be real, and they can be so convincing that even people who have been taken, often don’t figure it out until much later.

This isn’t to say that there isn’t real help available. The educated, legitimate, and experienced people are there too, but it is difficult for a new self-publisher to know the difference. What are some of the indicators?

1. Find out how long they have been in business and determine their level of experience. For example you might be dealing with a company that advertises longevity, i.e. 50 years in business, but how long in book production, and is your rep still wet behind the ears? A fifty year old company that was built on a platform other than books with a sales rep barely out of school won’t be very helpful to you.
2. Who have they served? Get references, and check them out. Book production often costs thousands of dollars, many self-publishers have sunk life savings into the venture, and yet they don’t take the time to find out who they are giving their money to? It is beyond me.
3. How successful have their clients been? Look at the numbers. Are they just trying to grab every dime that comes their way, or are they selective and only invest time and energy into books that have potential? There are plenty of companies, and many of them very large, who do not care about the merits of your book. As long as you pay them they are satisfied.
4. Are their fees reasonable? The Internet is a valuable resource to learn about what services cost. Do not take someone’s word that their prices are fair. Check it out. That doesn’t mean, however, that all pros charge the same. Many very experienced people can and do charge more, because their services are in higher demand.
5. Paying too much isn’t wise, but also is paying too little. You can bet that the cheapest price will be offered by the least valuable service. One way to make sure your book is second-rate is to work with bottom of the barrel suppliers. If they aren’t competent it will negatively impact your book.
6. How much upfront money is required? It the book production drains away all of your capital and you don’t have anything left for marketing, you are in trouble. Calculate all the costs as closely as you can and be sure to leave room for contingencies. Nothing ever goes exactly as planned.
7. Are their promises too good to be true? I refer you back to the list at the beginning of this post. Anyone of the phrases used above and many others should serve as a red flag to you. BIG promises are usually filled with hot air. Real professionals won’t make big, empty promises hucksters, on the other hand, will.

The bottom line for a self-publisher is that the onus is on you. Like the Little Red Hen you have to do all of the work. You can hire people to help, but you have to decide if they are giving you what you want and be willing to make changes if they aren’t. In the end, it is your baby and whether it succeeds or fails is in your court. All of it.

by Bill Ruesch

If you have the creative ability to write a book you already have the fundamental skills necessary to sell the book.

What you may not have is self-confidence.

Three book marketing truths worthy of careful consideration:

• Books don’t sell themselves. Despite what you may believe, books are sold by people not bookstores. Even the Bible, the best selling book in history, has to be sold. You don’t believe it? What are they doing in churches every week? Promoting the reading of the bible which increases sales. Think of divinity schools as bible sales training for ministers.

• Who has the most to gain and the most to lose if your book fails? Come on, if you don’t have the answer to this one, you probably believe that denial is a river in Africa (sorry, it’s an old joke and I just couldn’t resist tossing it in).

• Your book is your baby–who loves it the most? You gave birth to this book. You know what you had to go through to bring it into this world. Who, but you, will be its most powerful spokesman?

To Start You Don’t Have to Look Any Further than Your Own Backyard.

In addition to confidence, what is the single most important ability you as writer already possess to move your book?

Creativity

I read a story some years ago about a young copywriter applying for a job at an advertising agency. The competition for the position was brisk and he knew it, so instead of mailing in the typical resume he boxed up a can of dog food with a note attached that read, “Please hire me so I don’t have to eat any more of this.”

He got the job.

You can tap the creative marvel inside of you. You proved that by producing a book. Now is the time to dig deep into that same genius that spawned the book and create a way to promote it. The competition is brisk (see blog post, 15 Stacks of Books Taller than the Empire State Building, what can you do to rise above the pack and get noticed?

Remember from the last post that enough books are published in the US every year to build 15 stacks of books taller than the Empire State Building. Where will your book be in a stack if you don’t noticed? If you sit by the phone waiting for Oprah to call–forget about it!

Being creative DOES NOT mean to disregard the usual book marketing methods like arranging book signing events, getting yourself on TV and/or radio, utilizing social networking avenues, selling your book to family and friends. Don’t dismiss selling to family and friends. It may feel awkward or uncomfortable, but I figured out that if I could pre-sell 100 copies of my upcoming book, Whistlin’ Salamander, it would just about cover my upfront expenses. I have enough personal associations to accomplish this first goal. What about you?

We at The Red Hen Association would love to hear from you about your personal experiences. What unusual methods have you employed to bring your book to the forefront? How successful was it? You can add your comments to the comment section at the end of this post, or email me at bill@redhenassociation.com.

15 stacks of books higher than this

by Bill Ruesch

Latest figures based on ISBN’s reveal that the US published nearly 190,000 books last year.  If you assume an average thickness of 1″ per book, and stacked them one on top of the other you’d have fifteen stacks of books each stack taller than the Empire State Building in New York. Last year–15 stacks of books taller than the Empire State Building. This wasn’t over a ten or twenty year stretch, but just last year. Try to visualize these fifteen stacks standing beside the Empire State Building and then imagine what would happen to the streets of New York City if two, five, or ten year’s worth of published books were stacked among the buildings.

All of this is from US publishing alone!  Another 130,000 books were published in the UK. If you added these books to the stacks it would create another ten more Empire State sized stacks. It boggles the mind.

The Questions to Ask

• Does my book stand a chance?
  • The odds are, please excuse the pun, stacked against you.  Every hour of every day over 21 books are published in the US. The competition is unbelievably tough, but as difficult as it is, if you don’t enter the fray you are guaranteed to fail. Remember as difficult as it is to win a lottery, lotteries are won every day. Like Han Solo said in the movie Star Wars, “Never tell me the odds kid.” That is the attitude you must adopt.
• What is the best path for me to pursue in getting my book sold and read?
  
  • First dispel the notion that all you have to do is write well and you’ll become rich and famous. That’s a fairy tale. There is no happily ever after for 99% or more of all authors. Even Mark Twain in his heyday knew the value of marketing. It has been recorded that he had 10,000 people selling his books for him. If Mark Twain had to arrange for his own book sales, it isn’t too far of a stretch to think that you would have to too. Even traditionally published authors have to participate in selling.  The Red Hen Association has downloaded an interview with a contemporary published author, Casey Sherman. Mr. Sherman has some very enlightening things to say about book selling today. Check it out at Casey Sherman interview.
  • Consider the genre of your book. Small independent publishers produce four times as many nonfiction titles as fiction. There is a reason for this disparity. A nonfiction book usually has an identifiable market.  A book of fiction has a more difficult time locating its audience; however, a novel has the potential for much greater sales in the long run. According to  http://BookStatistics.com popular fiction comprises 55% of book sales, followed by 10% religious nonfiction, and 9% cooking and crafts.
• How many books do I have to sell to make money?
  • Large publishers say they have to sell 10,000 books to break even, but for self-publishers without huge overheads break even can come much sooner. It is difficult to name a figure for profitability because costs of printing, editing, art, illustration, and cover design can, and do differ for each book. Simple math is all it takes to determine earnings. Add all the sales and then subtract all of the costs. Be sure to keep records of all costs including transportation to and from events, mail and shipping expenses, professional services like accountants and attorneys, meals if you are out of town, etc. Not only will you want to report expenses to the IRS to decrease your taxes, but you can’t get an accurate break even number without it. Self-publishing is a business. It’s best if you treat it as a business and not a hobby.
• How have other authors done it ?
  • In today’s world it is easier and more difficult at the same time to be heard among the babble. The Internet makes it possible to reach out to the entire world. You can setup and start a blog for free in minutes. Just think, you can launch a soap box and speak to the whole world right now. The problem is that 175,000 other blogs are started each day according to Cnet. Nonetheless, a blog has become a necessity. A stagnant blog, will not serve you. Just because you build a blog site doesn’t mean that you will attract visitors. You have to market the site, in order to market yourself and your book.
  • Arrange speaking engagements where you can sell and sign copies of books.
  • Go to where the potential readership goes. If your book is about race car drivers, see if you can get the book into NASCAR events. Maybe your book is about fairies, go to FaerieCon or other fairy festivals. Got a cookbook? Go to places where cooking is the topic. Be creative and think in terms of places people might be who would relate to your book even if it is a stretch. I have a friend who writes books about Dutch oven cooking. He has an arrangement with a Dutch oven manufacturer to put a sales piece about his books in the box of every oven they sell.
  • Be fearless. Call on buyers for stores and ask them to stock your book.
  • Get your book on library shelves. Contact the American Library Association for places and times of librarian conferences.

  Will these tips really work? They aren’t guaranteed, but they will help. The biggest tip is make your own fame. If you find a way to become a household name, you will sell books. There’s your guarantee.

A Chicken Scratchings reader expressed frustration over hiring a professional editor to fix the problems with his manuscript before self-publishing the book. When the book was printed the author found several typos that he thought the editor should have caught. Was he right or wrong?

I can shed some light on the subject; after all I’ve been in printing and publishing for 35+ years.

1.  Typos are like car accidents – no matter what you do to prevent them they still happen. The first car accident on record happened in Ohio in 1891. Since there probably wasn’t another automobile in sight the driver hit a hitching post (no one knows if alcohol was involved). Even though there weren’t enough cars in existence to have a crash, a crash still occurred. Typos will happen. That doesn’t mean you should ignore them. No. You should make every effort to find and crush them, but to save yourself some grief, just remember, you probably won’t succeed.

I read a blurb in a trade magazine years ago where one of the major dictionary publishers said that they go through  132 proofing steps every time there is a new edition, and they still find errors. That doesn’t mean authors should slough off grammar mistakes and typos, but they shouldn’t beat themselves up over it either. Just be sure to fix it before the next printing.

2.  What you need is a divided personality. Except for a professional athlete perhaps, does anyone have a bigger ego than an author? If we didn’t believe in the value of what we write we wouldn’t write at all. We’ve worked hard to hone our skills and we believe that our book is a jewel just waiting to be discovered. Self-confidence is not a bad thing until it gets in our way. It is hard to see a dangerous pothole in the road when we are blinded by the headlights of our own egos. How many people try out for American Idol believing that they can sing and go away defeated and insulted when faced with the truth. We’ve all picked up books that are so bad we wonder how they ever got published. Before you trick yourself into believing something untrue, seek professional input.

3.  Never, never, never send your book off to print without professional editing. I don’t care how good you are, no one, and I mean no one, should try to edit their own book. As human beings we all have a kind of blindness associated with our writing. Our wonderful, creative minds generate the words we put on the page. This same mind can look at a sentence we’ve written with an error in it and we will mentally correct the mistake so that it passes by totally unseen by us.

A writer who deems himself/herself able to edit his/her own book is like the attorney who represents himself in court. The attorney has a fool for a client and so does the author. I know, it isn’t easy to let someone tamper with your baby. Carefully consider your choice of editors. Select one you respect enough so that if they call your baby ugly, you may not agree, but you’ll be inclined to listen.

4.  What is the editor’s job? That’s a good question and the answer is — it depends. Don’t ask for a light edit or proofreading only unless you have had a heavy edit first. Proofreaders check for punctuation, spelling errors, and standard grammar usage. Heavy Editing or Copy editing involve such things as checking sentence structure, diction, sense (vagueness), mixed metaphors, use of passive voice, and flow.  Ghost Writing and Book Doctoring involve something more intense. This type of editor will analyze the book and make the changes or write the copy if the author isn’t skilled. When should you call in a Book Doctor? If you know your skills are weak call one in at the very beginning, or if during heavy editing it becomes obvious that major structural changes need to take place.

Is that all? Not hardly, there are technical editors, indexers, photo editors, acquisition editors, etc. What an author needs to take into consideration is that publishing a book is a complicated and difficult task. No matter how professional the editorial team is, no one is perfect. Mistakes will be made, but everything is correctable. After all, printing is just ink on paper.

5.  You have only yourself to blame if you don’t carefully select your editors. If you are being traditionally published you don’t have a choice. Self-publishers on the other hand are required to choose unless they go to one of those Internet book mills. You know the places who advertise low prices, speedy production, and quality work? If they can put their services on sale you can bet that their services are bottom of the barrel. Don’t let your precious baby toddle off into the lackadaisical arms of strangers. They may seem very nice, but if your book never gets a chance because it is sub-standard it doesn’t matter how nice the people were, or how low the price was, does it? Don’t cut yourself short.

The God’s-honest-truth is that most self-published books are sub-standard. The Red Hen Association has been formed in part to help and encourage authors improve their quality. If self-publishing is ever going to break into the mainstream we will have to overwhelm it with quality books. Otherwise, we self-publishers will be forever viewed as second rate.

The way to achieve credibility is by writing a blog.

At least that’s what I heard, and you probably did too. Is it true? Will a blog give you a writing career boost? Yes and No. It’s like planting a garden, if you give it the attention it needs to thrive, you will have good results, but if you neglect it, it will wither and die.

Here are some things to know if you are beginning a blog

1.  There are “free” blog hosting services like blogspot, blogger, and wordpress who are happy to have you join their family of bloggers. It costs nothing and they provide templates and other assistance to get you started.

2. What do the templates do? The templates are available to help you create a theme, and set up your dashboard. The dashboard controls all of the content on the blog. The theme is a term used to describe the look of your page. You can choose to personalize your blog by selecting one of many pre-built themes. If you want a site that is totally unique, you may want to consider hiring a web designer.

2.  Is there a downside to free hosting? It depends. If you are planning to use your blog as a revenue generating source, i.e. selling services or products to your readers, you may not be allowed. Also, the way the free hosting services keep it free is they can add advertisements to your site. That may not be a problem unless the ad turns out to be a direct competitor of yours.

3.  Unless you are already an experienced blogger, you may not know what you intend for the blog. The way to avoid having conflicts with hosting services is to host your own. You will have to get a domain and probably need the services of a web savvy friend to help you get set up, and going.

4.  Blogging is dynamic. If you put up a page and fail to nurture it will die. A dead blog won’t help credibility, and could hurt.

5.  How do you nurture a blog? There are two things that must be done. You have to add regular original content — not necessarily daily — but a couple of times a week if you can. The second thing is marketing. Think of marketing as telling people where your blog is and why they should go to it. It’s like being a cyber-carny barker. Some 170 thousand blogs are started daily,  so to stand out from the crowd takes some pretty strong barking.

6.  Do you have to write all of the content yourself? No, but if the purpose of the blog is to establish your credibility, you had better write a good deal of it. There are sites like ezine that gather articles for your use either for free or at a nominal charge.

7.  How much time is required to nurture your blog? Well — that depends. Working a blog can take as much time as you can give it. It can become a black hole. Treat your blogging as a business and do what successful business people do, spend your time on the activities that promise the highest rewards.

I have been mulling over the creative process. Even as I write the words — creative process – I question if process is the right word. Doesn’t process imply some sort of an organized, linear procedure? I don’t know about you, but in my experience, creativity comes randomly and usually at the least opportune times. Many ideas appear in the shower. Pencils and paper don’t fare well under a steady hot stream. Paper, particularly, turns to mush. How do I know? I won’t say, but trust me I do know.

There are also those middle of the night inspirations, the ones where the GREATEST ideas in the world come. All of them, without exception, are atomized by morning mist. Nighttime inspirations, like vampires, can’t endure daylight, so I started taking a pad and pencil to bed. I’d place them conveniently on the nightstand beside me. Sure enough, I got one of those amazing insights and this time, since I was ready, I clicked the pen top and wrote it down — very precisely — letter-by-letter. Now I could return to sleep with full knowledge that the idea, unlike an uncaptureable lightning bolt, was  secured safely in ink.

I was so excited the first time I did it. I woke up anxious to read the revelation given to me so I could change the world. It said, “Hi goberdobink.” Hi goberdobink, was that it? Was goberdobink my precious gift from my subconscious? This was my great revelation? I could have cried, but I didn’t. After all, I reasoned, this was my first attempt; no one gets it right on the first try. Be patient and it will get better. That is what I said to myself to rally the ol’ gumption drive inside.

It’s a funny thing about writers; we use words to talk people into believing the most outrageous things. We can convince them of the existence of time travel, other worlds, and fantastic beings.  Instead of hating us for deceiving them, the better we are at weaving beautiful invisible fabric out of air, the more respected we become. Isn’t that amazing? If you make up stuff in a court of law, you go to jail. If you make up stuff and write it down, people will praise you for it, but only if you do it well.

Where’s the danger? We all know the danger. The writer who comes to believe that their imaginary creations are real, is ready for a fall. Can you say cuckoo?

Stephen King, for example, can, and does, create horror out of the most benign things. In the book, Thinner, a berry pie became a terrifying sinister object. How does Stephen King maintain equilibrium when even dust bunnies (from Delores Claiborne) are malevolent? Wouldn’t you think that he would be as neurotic as hell? He must see evil intent in everything.

Speaking of Stephen King, his book On Writing, which by-the-way isn’t frightening, unless your dreams of equaling his achievements leave you dangling over a cliff when you realize where you are in comparison. But enough about me. In the book he writes about finding your muse. His, apparently, is a cigar chomping little guy who flies around his desk and taunts him. Mine is an impatient, flirtatious nymph I call Fickle Jenny. I even wrote a poem about her:

Fickle Jenny

by Bill Ruesch

Fickle Jenny, she’s my muse,

wakes me up when I try to snooze.

If I take a shower, she barges in,

at the oddest times creates a din.

“Write it down!” she shouts at me.

“OK Jenny, can’t you see

I’m up to my neck in crocodiles?

Goodness, Jen you’re such a trial.”

“Yes, but you love me anyway.”

If I don’t act now, she doesn’t stay.

That great idea like grain of sand is

forever scattered on a stretch of land.

Once it’s gone, it won’t come back.

It’s not like you slide it in stack

and wait for a more convenient time

when you’re ready to start the mine.

What was that gem that Jenny brought?

Too late kid, what was — is not.

I can beat my head until it hurts,

wring my hands like laundered shirts.

“Too slow, pal, you had your chance.

This Jenny-girl has gotta’ dance.”

She disappears without a sigh

and takes my idea to some other guy!

I hear people say that they always knew they wanted to write. Those people often wrote stories as children. To others the writing bug came later. I was in high school. My 11th grade English teacher submitted a poem I had written to a state poetry contest. I didn’t know she had done this, and I didn’t know that I had won some recognition until the school principal called me out of class and told me. I must have appeared totally discombobulated, because this was the first time ever I had been called to the Principal’s office — I couldn’t imagine what I had done wrong — but by the time I arrived, I was sure it was something. I had been known to be a smart-mouth and a passive-aggressive little pr_ _ k. Since all my transgressions, until now, had flown safely under the radar, it was a total mystery how they reached the top of the school hierarchy.

You would have thought my walk down the empty halls, with my mind agitating like a crowd whose team was 2 points from the championship with 3 seconds on the clock, and my hands sweating like the locker room after 2nd period gym class, was a slow walk to the gallows.

I was shown into the inner sanctum. The Principal smiled, rose, reached over the walnut desk and shook my hand. “This must be how they do it,” I thought, “just before strapping the condemned into the electric chair.”

“Have a seat,” he said, still smiling. “Congratulations.”

Huh?

“Congratulations for getting an honorable mention for your poem in the Utah State Poetry Society’s Youth Contest.”

He seemed sincere, but I didn’t have a clue about what he was saying. He might as well have been speaking Swahili.

He presented me with a newspaper clipping and there was my name and the name of the poem I had written circled in red ink.

Later, came an embarrassment of attention. The school newspaper printed my poem, a photo of me, and an interview. The question was asked, “When do you write poetry?”

I responded, “Just when I’m in the mood,” followed by a nervous laugh.

The headline read — His Moodiness Amuses Him. See what I meant by embarrassment? What high school boy wants to be thought of as moody? I wasn’t the athletic type, but I didn’t run or throw a baseball like a girl either. Moodiness was a term reserved for girly-boys. That wasn’t me, even if I wasn’t the fastest runner on the track. I have a long torso and short legs. I wasn’t built for speed.

From that day on, I thought of myself not as a poet, but an occasional writer of poetry. Defining me as a poet took many, many, more years and honestly, I’m still not sure I deserve that particular tag.

How about this for fun?

What about you? You who found the patience to wade through this post, how did you awaken to the writer in you? What is your story?  We could use The Red Hen Association’s website to publish your stories about your paths. Send a jpeg photo too and we will publish your story and your picture.