Chicken Scratchings

Archive for February, 2010

I hear people say that they always knew they wanted to write. Those people often wrote stories as children. To others the writing bug came later. I was in high school. My 11th grade English teacher submitted a poem I had written to a state poetry contest. I didn’t know she had done this, and I didn’t know that I had won some recognition until the school principal called me out of class and told me. I must have appeared totally discombobulated, because this was the first time ever I had been called to the Principal’s office — I couldn’t imagine what I had done wrong — but by the time I arrived, I was sure it was something. I had been known to be a smart-mouth and a passive-aggressive little pr_ _ k. Since all my transgressions, until now, had flown safely under the radar, it was a total mystery how they reached the top of the school hierarchy.

You would have thought my walk down the empty halls, with my mind agitating like a crowd whose team was 2 points from the championship with 3 seconds on the clock, and my hands sweating like the locker room after 2nd period gym class, was a slow walk to the gallows.

I was shown into the inner sanctum. The Principal smiled, rose, reached over the walnut desk and shook my hand. “This must be how they do it,” I thought, “just before strapping the condemned into the electric chair.”

“Have a seat,” he said, still smiling. “Congratulations.”

Huh?

“Congratulations for getting an honorable mention for your poem in the Utah State Poetry Society’s Youth Contest.”

He seemed sincere, but I didn’t have a clue about what he was saying. He might as well have been speaking Swahili.

He presented me with a newspaper clipping and there was my name and the name of the poem I had written circled in red ink.

Later, came an embarrassment of attention. The school newspaper printed my poem, a photo of me, and an interview. The question was asked, “When do you write poetry?”

I responded, “Just when I’m in the mood,” followed by a nervous laugh.

The headline read — His Moodiness Amuses Him. See what I meant by embarrassment? What high school boy wants to be thought of as moody? I wasn’t the athletic type, but I didn’t run or throw a baseball like a girl either. Moodiness was a term reserved for girly-boys. That wasn’t me, even if I wasn’t the fastest runner on the track. I have a long torso and short legs. I wasn’t built for speed.

From that day on, I thought of myself not as a poet, but an occasional writer of poetry. Defining me as a poet took many, many, more years and honestly, I’m still not sure I deserve that particular tag.

How about this for fun?

What about you? You who found the patience to wade through this post, how did you awaken to the writer in you? What is your story?  We could use The Red Hen Association’s website to publish your stories about your paths. Send a jpeg photo too and we will publish your story and your picture.

What is there about business that allows people do terrible things to one another and justify it with, “It isn’t personal, it’s just business?’ Those same people in all other areas of their lives are caring, concerned, and helpful — with the possible exception of driving cars. There’s something about getting behind the wheel of an automobile that turns nice folks into competitive savages.

It has been said that we all have the capacity for good and evil inside of us. I suppose that is true because as a child I found myself doing something mean for no particular reason. I’d like to believe that I’ve outgrown that, and have risen above my mean streak. Mature people learn to replace hostility with nobility of character. Don’t they?

Therefore I was deeply shocked and disturbed when a person I’ve known for many years, and know to have the highest moral values, insisted I stop discussing the immorality of buying book printing from China, because it created feelings of guilt. Huh? Moral people don’t feel guilt if there is nothing wrong and there is something really wrong with Chinese printing competition — wrong, and dangerous to us and the American way of life.

I won’t expound on the China problem in this post, but please go to my post Chinese Printers Play Dirty In Stealing US Customers for more explanation.

Did you ever see one of those signs that said, “Don’t Walk on the Grass!”? If one person or a dozen, walks on the grass it won’t cause any real harm, will it? No, of course not, but if hundreds, or thousands, or if one person crosses that same place thousands of times will it injure the grass? Absolutely.

If one self-publisher, or one traditional publisher, sends a book title to China to be printed will it cause damage? No, but if printing goes overseas as the same rate of other US manufacturing jobs, we are surely on the path to becoming a third world nation. Again see my post for further detail. Is that an outrageous claim on my part? It sure sounds outrageous, even I will admit that. How could it happen? This is America after all, the land of the free.  If it costs too much to buy from this country don’t we have the right to buy from another? Oh yes, we have the right but is it the right thing to do? If our actions today, create a third world economy in the United States, who will be looking out for the disadvantaged in the world? Will China, Iran, or Venezuela step up and set the moral standard? Think about it. What will happen to the world if the United States of America is no longer in a position to help right the wrongs?

The congress and the business moguls have been selling us out for many, many years. Our cities are emptying because manufacturing jobs have been going off-shore. Who benefits from the reduced costs multinational corporations enjoy from cheap labor? Is it the US workers? No, it is the greedy tyrants at the top of the pyramid insisting that, “It isn’t personal, it’s just business.” The same in China. The workers suffer and the elite prosper.

There is only one way to defend ourselves and our way of life, stop buying products made in China. My wife and I are on a diet. I saw an offer for a diabetic cookbook promoted by Publisher’s Clearinghouse that looked promising, so I ordered it. My wife noticed the label on the back saying it was made in China. We returned it.

We went to Costco. They were selling women’s clothing made in the USA. The skirts and tops were more than what we could have bought from stores featuring off-shore goods, but the USA tag sold us.

The two of us are walking on the grass, or in this case, the noxious weeds. We know we can’t have much impact. Alone we won’t stop the ruination of America, but we will do what we can and we invite everyone who loves America to do the same.  Stomp, stomp, stomp.

A successful self-publisher must be a terrific self-promoter. There is a myth that goes; if you build a better mousetrap, the world will beat a path to your door. If you believe that you’ll probably buy a genuine Rolex watch from a shady man in an alley for thirty bucks. No one beats a path to your door that isn’t encouraged, excited, and enthusiastic about getting the benefits of your product.

Thomas Edison

In the case of self-publishers, books are the products. Products, no matter how good they are, must be sold. Even Thomas Alva Edison with his marvelous inventions like the phonograph, and incandescent electric light bulbs knew that nothing moves without a sale. What was Edison best at selling? You are right, himself. He was a self-promoter of the highest rank. Electric light was actually invented 50 years before him, but he got credit because he learned how to make it functional, then he tied his name to it and voila Con-Edison was born.

What’s that you say? You aren’t a salesman type. You can’t sell water to a man whose house is on fire. No matter, I’m not talking about going out and knocking on doors. I’m talking about selling yourself by convincing others that the product of your mind, your book, is worth buying and reading. I know a woman in my area, Nancy Miles, who recently self-published a cookbook. This cookbook has the usual mouthwatering recipes with color photos and such, but it also has the added attraction of allowing her readers to go to her website NancyMilesInGoodTaste.com and use templates to create their own family legacy recipe pages. You can literally create a family cookbook with recipes to hand down to other generations. What a great idea!

Is In Good Taste selling well? It is, but if she had taken delivery and kept it in boxes in her garage, it wouldn’t. Nancy has been working the retail store circuit. She takes a book into buyers and shows them why it is different than the other cookbooks they sell. No high highfalutin’ sales pitch, just confidence gained by a belief in her product, and the desire to give everyone an opportunity to do wonderful things for their families.

The title of this post is Lousy Public Speakers Sell Fewer Books which came to me as I realized just how much publishing is changing. The traditional model is based on the publisher buying the rights, incurring all of the costs of  production and distribution, and rewarding the author with a royalty on the sales. The stark truth is that if traditional publishing was the only route, 95% to 98% of the available manuscripts would never get published. What a waste. Nancy didn’t wait for the luck of the draw. She’s out busily creating a market while she’s waiting to be discovered. In the meantime, she’s earning a pretty good living. I’m going to take a wild guess and suggest that her earnings in the first six months are in the neighborhood of $30,000 to $45,000. Remember, she’s doing this on her own, by herself.

Confidence is the key

My point is you don’t have to be a big time traditionally published author to make a living. You don’t have to be Og Mandino who wrote The Greatest Salesman in the World. What you do have to have is a good book, and the confidence to tell people about it. How do you gain that confidence? There are many routes, many coaches, and many teachers, but for my money, there is no better place to start than with Toastmasters. I’ve been in Toastmasters for four years, and I’ve seen time after time people come to our meetings, stand behind the lectern, and shake so badly that they rattle the table. I’ve seen those same people after their fourth, fifth, or sixth speech in the first manual, literally transform themselves into a confident public speaker. It is beautiful. It truly is. And what’s even better is you don’t have to empty your bank account. My club, Precision Speakers, collects $35.00 every six months. That’s only a buck-thirty-five per meeting. To find a club meeting near you go to the Toastmasters International website.

I suggest you get your shy or reticent self to a Toastmaster meeting right away. Get some club speeches under your belt and feel that confidence rise.

I read a discussion item posted by the LinkedIn professional group BookLink . To quote David Bennett who was responding to an invitation to introduce himself, “When I consider the changes over the past 10 years, I wonder how life will be in another 10 years! Incredible! I sometimes feel so overwhelmed by all these new ‘gimmicks’, ‘widgets’, ‘plug-ins’, ‘blogs’, ’snippets’, etc. that I’d just like to lean back and breathe…” I got that. Is there anyone out there who doesn’t feel overwhelmed, confused, and not quite up to speed?

There are many in cyberspace claiming to know all of the secrets — but do they? Do they really? If you want access to those secrets it’s gonna cost you a bundle. Honestly I wish I had the kind of extra cash to learn what the experts know, but I don’t, so I’m feeling my way around in the dark and shinning a light on anything within reach that I find interesting. Those out of reach will just have to wait. My belief is that once something is learned it changes anyway, so how do you keep ahead?

Photo by Debbievators

My father was a computer programmer. The company employing him as an accountant decided to install computers and tested their employees to see who was the most trainable. Dad and one other man, Norm, got the jobs. Sometimes the computers were busy during the day, so my father would take me with him to keep him company at night. It was fascinating. Computers back then filled a large room and the support machinery took up nearly as much space.  The computing power of these behemoths was less than the typical cell phone now. Unlike computers and printers today which are virtually silent, the old Univac’s with their tape reels, the tractor-fed dot matrix printers, and the punch cards made a loud racket. Most of the readers of this blog will have never seen a computer punch card sent out with billings from power companies and the like. The instructions on the cards were very clear and became a joke, “Do not, fold, spindle, or mutilate.” Of course the reason for this was that the cards had to be returned in reasonable condition for them to feed correctly into the sorter.

By the time the PC tidal-wave hit the world, Dad was retired. He had worked with the computer languages COBOL and FORTRAN. Today’s programmers speak other languages based on many of the old ones, but more advanced. He bought a PC and tried to catch up, but he really couldn’t. Even with his years, and years of programming and systems analysis knowledge the technology moved too fast. He was left behind, but he was retired so it didn’t really matter.

When I get overwhelmed I like to reflect on the past. This blog has made me a little nostalgic. I don’t know how you cope, but writing, especially writing poetry helps me. And since I am a legitimate published poet, I thought it would be okay to share one of my poems with you. Maybe you’ll find some respite here.

Rocking Chairs

I wanted to write about a porch/ the kind my grandmother / had with a view of the street / and chairs enough to welcome / anyone to sit a spell and reminisce / about Tin Lizzie’s, nickle gasoline, / and Roosevelt, while taking turns / cranking the stiff handle / of the wooden ice-cream maker.

I wanted to write about the night / thick with cricket calls / and how just-picked peaches / mixed with rich cream / fresh from the morning’s milking / melted in the mouth like sweet / snowflakes caught on the tongue.

But most of all, I wanted / to write about the thrum / in my grandfather’s chest / as the conversation bobbed / like fishing line on the river / and how an old patchwork quilt / felt when wrapped around / a small boy held and rocked, / held and rocked, until the night/ folded into itself and disappeared.

Bill Ruesch

• What are the chances that your book will become a bestseller?
  

• Is it possible to predict future success or failure?
  

• Is there a sure-fire program that if you follow it step-by-step will take you to the promised land?

I remember a television interview with John Lennon of The Beatles fame. The question asked was, “Do you know when making an album which songs will be hits?”

John Lennon didn't know

John replied that he never knew, in fact the ones that made it often surprised him. I think that is probably true of books too. Sometimes, not frequently, but sometimes, a book succeeds even when the author wishes it wouldn’t. Take the case of J.D. Salinger who detested the success of The Catcher in the Rye, when asked in an interview, “Did you think it would be such a popular book?”

Salinger’s response was, “It’s been a nightmare.” And that was all he would say on the subject.

By a raise of hands how many authors out there would be unhappy if they had his success? I know that I wouldn’t. I’d be jumping up and down and praising the Lord. My dream come true was Salinger’s nightmare.

How can you know if your book will be a bestseller?

How can you know if your book is going to be a hit? You can’t. There are too many factors involved to make anything a sure deal. You can have a beautifully written manuscript, with superior editing, a wonderful design and even though it should sell – it won’t. There just aren’t any guarantees.

Let me give you an example from my own life experience. Twenty-six years ago I was involved in publishing a natural health magazine called The Herbalist. As a service to our advertisers, and a way to monitor ad response, we included a bingo card. For those who don’t know, a bingo card in a magazine has nothing to do with the popular game named Bingo. It is a mail-back card with numbers matching numbers inserted into the advertisements. A reader could circle the number on the ad that interested them. We collected the data and sent computer printouts to the advertisers. Sometimes an advertiser would get pages and pages of response and sometimes they would get very little. What surprised me was the success of a tiny, 1/6th page black and white ad for a book. The ad was poorly designed and the photo used was so bad that it looked like someone dropped it and ground it into the dirt with their heel. It was so ugly we took great pains to place it in inconspicuous places so it wouldn’t ruin the look of our magazine. Month after month this small ugly ad pulled some of the best response. It often out-pulled beautiful, full page, full-color ads.

We tried to come up with an explanation of why this was happening. Someone suggested that the ad looked so cheesy that people assumed it was a bargain. Others thought the subject of the ad was more germane to our readership. We didn’t know what the truth of it was then, and still don’t today. Things work or they don’t.

There is only one guaranteed way to fail

That’s the point with publishing. There is no guaranteed way to succeed and only one guaranteed way to fail. The sure way to fail is to not publish. Maybe J.D. Salinger should have gone this route. It could have saved him a life of seclusion.

Can you improve your chances of success? You bet! There are many roads you can take to promote your book. The good news is, if one road doesn’t work for you another might, and The Red Hen Association of Self-Publishing Authors has been formed to help you succeed by shining a light on the path. We will do our best to help you, but the real magic is to keep trying. Don’t give in to discouragement and keep trying. That’s the best advice anyone can give.